Things That Begin With The Letter E
by MyraValhallah
Summary: Its Alice's wedding day and just before she enters the church she gets a visitor who offers her an escape route.  A fluffy Halice one shot- please R&R  No flames please


**_This story wouldn't leave me alone, it came to me while I was studying last night and I just had to write it down._**

**_I think it came out alright- but what do you all think?_**

**_The first in a series of Oneshots...  
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It was outrageous!

It was scandalous!

It was down Right Improper!

Alice Kingsleigh (the, soon to be, Lady Kensington) had been, on her wedding day no less, accosted by a gentleman who was clearly not the austere brown haired nobleman- this man was far taller than the Lord with shockingly red hair which followed none of societies rules for what a gentleman's hair should do. He dressed in a ridiculous suit with too short trousers, mismatched socks and a sash of cotton bobbins slung across one shoulder.

It happened very much like this…

The future Lady Alice Kensington had alighted, with help from her future father in Law, from the carriage, outside the church.

"Are you alright my dear?" Lord Kensington senior asked, noticing the tears glistening in the pretty young blonde woman's dark eyes.

"Yes" Alice lied, easily. "I'm just a little overwhelmed by how quickly my mother pulled this together. Just give me a moment alone, please"

Helen Kingsleigh, and Lady Thomasina Kensington had arranged this union for their unwed offspring during the time that Alice was sailing- she'd arrived back in Bristol a mere three days earlier to the news that she was to be tied to the stuffy Lord and that no argument would be accepted.

Lord Kensington senior (Otherwise known as Simon) patted her hand, gave her a sympathetic smile and walked into the church.

Alice, after checking that the door of the church had been shut by her future father in law; tried to take a steadying breath but the corset she wore made that impossible. She felt sick- she hated Martin: he was so backwards; all he thought that women were good for were baring young and sitting at tea. Her bouquet hit the floor- the white roses scattered.

"To think that just six months ago I was Champion to the White Queen" she murmured to herself, stroking the patch of her arm which still bore the Bandersnatch scars.

That was it- as soon as she allowed herself to start thinking about Underland the floodgates opened and every memory she had of the place- good and bad tumbled into her mind.

When she was six- defending Stayne from the red Queen's wrath when she accused him of stealing her Squimberry Tarts.

When she, not much later, toppled through the looking glass and played games with the Queens Red and White

Then six months ago when, in a repeat of her first arrival in Underland, she followed McTwisp down the Rabbit hole again- leading her not only to slay the Jabberwocky, ending the Red Queen's Reign; but to lose her heart to a certain half-mad tradesman.

Her heart clenched when she remembered their kisses- the second one, mere seconds before the Jabberwocky blood took effect. How many nights since the Frabjous day had she lay awake because of the stricken look in his beautiful green eyes as she returned to her own world.

"Oh Tarrant" she sighed, wiping her eyes turning to enter the church; heading towards her punishment for abandoning her heart. "I made a stupid mistake and now I'm to be separated from you forever"

"This from the boy who believes six impossible things before breakfast?" a startlingly familiar voice lisped from behind the crying blonde.

Alice gasped. "Impossible!"

"Only if you believe it is" the lisp was more pronounced this time. "Alice"

Alice felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked at it- the long white skinned, bandage-fingered, stained appendage was clad in a familiar fingerless glove half hidden by a lacy cuff that stuck out of the end of a dark indigo tailcoat sleeve.

"Hatter?" she rasped, her voice rough due to the tears she was still shedding

"Nae love" his voice was gentle. "Ye said mah name before- say it agehn"

"Tarrant?" she obliged him, laying her own small hand on his work damaged one.

"Aye Cricket" he burred.

Alice turned, not loosening her grip on Tarrant's hand. He hadn't changed a bit- his red hair still stuck out in all directions that his hat would allow; his skin was still white apart from on his face where his Outlandish colouring stood out around those beautiful big expressive eyes.

"What are you doing in London?"

He sent her a soft smile, revealing that adorable gap in his teeth. "You told me you'd be back before I knew it; and last night I started to know it so I went to the white Queen- I'm her royal hatter again you know- and asked her from some Jabberwocky blood; surely you didn't think that the tiny vial she gave you on Frabjous day was all the behg bugger had in 'is veins did ye, silly lad? Not tha…"

"Tarrant" Alice giggled at the naughty word that her Hatter had uttered.

"I'm fine Cricket" he grinned at her sheepishly. "Thank you"

"You were saying, about asking for Jabberwocky blood?" Alice prompted, sparing a glance at the church to make sure that the door was still closed

"Yes" Tarrant agreed. "I went to the queen and told her what you told me before you left and that I was beginning to know it, which meant that you were late- she agreed with me that it was terribly naughty for you to be late, _again_"

"You've come to bring me home?" she asked- not noticing that she had referred to Underland as her home

The Hatter, however, had- his soft smile sprouted into the joyful grin that he'd worn when he saw her at the tea party when she'd returned to Underland. "Tha' depends on whither yeh want the come back an'be mah wife- me jus' bein' a lowly hatter and not a Lord like yer man in there."

"Tarrant" she laughed, despite herself. "Listen to me you sweet, silly, fellow; if you ever refer to any man but your dear self as mine I shall take your hat and make a present of it to Chess"

Tarrant gaped at her. "Thin, yeh deh love meh after all?"

"Aye" she grinned at him. "I love _you_ Tarrant, not him"

"An' if I asked…" he gulped. "If I asked yeh teh be mine… would yeh accept meh?"

She placed her free hand on his cheek. "Yes. In a heartbeat"

"Alice" he lisped. "I should very much like to kiss you, may I?"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Tarrant's kiss was soft and hesitant despite being given her consent; it was up to her to deepen the kiss. Her tongue slipped out of her lips and begged entry to Tarrant's mouth.

They broke apart, smiling at each other fondly.

"My Alice" Tarrant burred, his tone possessive. "Can I mehk yeh mah bride?"

"Yes" A small part of her was wondering how many times she'd have to accept him before he got the message. That part was given its answer when Tarrant caught her by the waist and spun her.

"Calloo, Callay!" he exclaimed after placing her back on her feet and launched into a Futterwacken.

"Can we go now?" he asked, when he'd finished his happy dance- he sounded like a child desperate for a promised outing

"In a second" she nodded. "There's one more thing I need to do, love"

She slid the downright gawdy diamond encrusted band off her wedding finger and let it drop amongst the flowers.

"That's better" she smiled; dusting her hands. "Now; take me home, please"

"As my lady wishes" the Hatter bowed with affected pomposity then he announced. "I've been considering things that begin with the letter 'E'… Engaged, Emotion, Eternity, Evermore, Escape…"

He smiled at her and slid a simple, elegant silver band onto the finger that she'd just cleared

"Elope" they said, with perfect synchronicity.

Tarrant produced two vials of the purple liquid. "Your carriage milady- sorry it isn't a Hat"

She pressed a kiss to his lips and whispered in his ear. "Last one back in Underland is a rotten egg"

Then she threw back her head and necked the foul tasting, purple, blood.

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What do you think a

o


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